Mantra Monday XVIII: To Have, You Should Be

Author: Joe Lizz

If you want good friends, you should be a good friend.

If you want to succeed, you should be hard working.

If you want to be trusted, you should be honest.

The things that are worth the most in life are the things we must work for.


Sometimes that means putting in extra hours at work, sometimes that means working harder at the gym, and sometimes that means working on ourselves to be the best version of ourselves that we can for those around us.

We can’t ask people to be winner friends if we aren’t also willing to be good friends ourselves. We can’t ask our significant other to compromise but always want it our way every single time. We can’t live by the “do as I say not as I do” philosophy day in and day out and expect to be surrounded by a badass tribe at the end of the day.


Don’t be afraid to put in the work. I don’t just mean what you do between clocking in at work and clocking out. Don’t be afraid to put in the work for every aspect of your life and each chance you get — that work will lead to growth.

For instance, consider gratitude: it requires we have, or find, something to be grateful for. When everything is “rainbows and unicorns” in life, it’s easy to find a hundred things to be grateful for: your job with a boss who buys you a latte every Friday morning and being able to afford a brand new car.

But on the days when you have a headache, get dumped by your boyfriend, and your dog pees in your favorite pair of shoes while you’re at work, you have to work to see the good.

Finding the good and working to see the good in even the worst situations, is how we grow and learn about ourselves. 


The other day, my friend Adell Bridges (@adellbridges on Instagram) asked in a caption: what are you grateful for today? It was a day that I wasn’t feeling it. I had a headache, and my overall attitude on a scale from 1–10 was a negative 25.

So I sat and thought for a long time and said: I’m grateful for my headache, it’s a reminder that I’m alive to feel pain. I learned more from searching for gratitude and understanding in that moment than I would have had I been asked every day during the prior week what I was grateful for when I was sitting at a 10 on that attitude scale.


You have to be open, honest, and humble in life to constantly become a better human. You have to be willing to be what you ask of others, to do what you ask others to do, to face what you ask others to overcome.


It’s not always going to be easy, and you’re not always going to success, but in failure we find success in a different meaning. 

The world can be a very one-sided place; we often find ourselves in relationships that better serve our partner than ourselves, in friendships in which we are constantly asking “how are you?” and “can I help?” and then finding ourselves quite alone when we need someone in our corner.

That doesn’t mean that we stop bettering ourselves, stop working, stop fighting. 

It simply means that we let go of that which doesn’t serve us in a positive way to make room for those who understand that having something means they should also offer it.

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